Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.
Why should you abuse the hell out of an orphan? Because what are they gonna do? Tell their mom or dad?
Paul Walker made a new wrap cover, it's called "Flying Through the Windshield," and the song's name is "Crossing the Street."
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
