Worst Jokes Ever
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
My girlfriend accuse me of cheating. I asked her what was I supposed to do? She was just lying naked she said just do the damn autopsy.
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
What does Michael Jackson say when he grabs his crotch? I never noticed that before.