Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
I make baby mush.
It was a blast to visit the Twin Towers on 9/11 at exactly 8:46 a.m. It was the bomb... like, literally!
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
How does cheese rat cheese?
It cheeses.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
What do you call a turkey when it is scared?
A chicken.
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."
What did Obama ask Trump?
Why can't America play chess?
There are missing two towers.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."