Worst Jokes Ever
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
My wife told me to contact more of my feminine side.
I crashed the car and fucked my trainer.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I have an orphan joke.
But it needs parental guidance.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.