Worst Jokes Ever
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?
Their ankles.
Orphan, why can’t I watch a PG movie?
Because they are Parental Guidance.