Worst Jokes Ever
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
What is an orphan's most hated baseball team? The Padres.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
Why did he quit the internet?
People kept on (rick) rolling him.
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
You're so ugly that even the World Trade Center got a better transformation than you.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
A limbo champion walks into a bar.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?
No, I'm blind.
Stop ruining my jokes.
Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?
It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"