Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?

Because Paul Walker crashed into it.

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

Michael Jackson.

What's the difference between me and a rapist?

He forced her, while I convinced her with a candy.

She was just 7 years old.

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

  • 7

    • "I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

    If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

    A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet.

    One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son.

    Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

    "Yes it is," the man replies.

    "You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.

    "No thanks," the man replies.

    "I think you do want to buy a baseball," the little extortionist continues.

    "OK. How much?" the man replies, after considering the position he was in.

    "Twenty-five dollars," the little boy replies.

    "TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!" the man repeats. "That's awful expensive," but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.

    The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

    "It's dark in here, isn't it?" the boy starts off.

    "Yes it is," replies the man.

    "Wanna buy a baseball glove?" the little boy asks.

    "OK. How much?" the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.

    "Fifty dollars," the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.

    The next weekend, the little boy's father says, "Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we'll play some catch."

    "I can't. I sold them," replies the little boy.

    "How much did you get for them?" asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.

    "Seventy-five dollars," the little boy says.

    "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That's thievery! I'm taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.

    At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

    "Don't you start that crap in here," the priest says.

    What can Michael Jackson eat in his coffin?

    Nothing, only brown bread, what they call it! 😂😂😂