Worst Jokes Ever
What do birds and planes have in common?
They both fly into building windows.
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
What is a black person's least favorite word game?
Hangman.
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What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Orphans bake bread with what kind of flour?
Self-raising.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Why did the cow go to outer space?
To see the moooon!
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"