Worst Jokes Ever
What happened to the guy who tried to catch fog?
He mist.
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
A boy got a soccer ball and a bike for Christmas. Why is he sad?
He doesn’t have legs.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
I’m not racist. I just have black guns.
One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"
Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."
The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"
Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."
The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"
Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
Ching chong China.
Jing jong Japan.
Ting tong Taiwan.
Hing hong Hong Kong.
King kong Korea.
An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it Sum Ting Wong.
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.