Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mom's so fat that she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?
One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
No pine, no gain!
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
You're all gay. HEHEHE!
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
*JMC*
ANOMALY-931
"Gwen"
Identification: just a stupid animal, with a big ass heart.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because they can get in trouble and nobody can tell their parents.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?