Worst Jokes Ever
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020.
My attempt in 2021.
And my attempt this year.
You know if you poo on the toilet at 11:59 PM...
Then at 12:01 AM, it's just the same shit, different day...
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
I have a little John.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni and got plane.
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
What do bees like with sushi?
Wasabee.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it home.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.
Crack me, break me, love me, and you ate me--egg.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.