One day the mailman came to drop the mail off, then he asked if I could use the bathroom. I said yeah. The thing is, my mom was coming out of the shower naked, and when she opened the door, it was me and the mailman.
Now, when the mailman sees me, he says to me, "We got something in common, we both saw your mom naked."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
Yeah, Eli is hot.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
Love you baby :^
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
RIP Harambe.
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.
"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
