Worst Jokes Ever
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are. Man, I love working at an orphanage!
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Russia—the real joke.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
What is speedrunner's favorite type of food? FAST FOOD!
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
"Sticks and stones break my bones."
A crowbar does it so much quicker.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.