Worst Jokes Ever
We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
What's the difference between my sister and my phone? I don't give a damn if my phone dies.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
like this if you don't like school.
I saw this little girl crying. I asked her where her parents were. She cried more, man, I love working at an orphanage.
What's harder than steel? Joe Biden at a playground.
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"