Worst Jokes Ever
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.