Worst Jokes Ever
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
Well, at least the one I fucked did.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.