Worst Jokes Ever
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.
How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
Why does an orphan love to go to church?
Because they have someone to call father.
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.
I asked my friend if he would take a bullet for the last person he slept with.
He said hell yeah, I'd do anything for my sister!
My wife accused me of being a cross-dresser, so I packed up her clothes and left.
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.