Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a white girl who can run faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
What do you call an emo furry squad?
The suicide furs.
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
He jizzes canned cheese.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What is the difference between you and my dad?
Nothing.
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?