Worst Jokes Ever
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?
She rearranged all the furniture.
I have a funny joke: my life.
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Why did Hitler kill himself?
His gas bill was too high.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"
His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."
A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.