Worst Jokes Ever
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
One has a home.
What do you call a white girl who can run faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
My favorite planet is Saturn because it is tight next to Uranus.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
He jizzes canned cheese.
What do you call an emo furry squad?
The suicide furs.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter, so now I am dead!" Haha, it is funny because the squirrel gets dead.