How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?
He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!
Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like your's belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
The teacher fainted.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
I asked my daddy what sex was. He said, "Wanna cum and try it?"
Can people please shut up about "male privileges"? There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood; men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of "women only" events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us.)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas.
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters.
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic dispute.
Women have the right to rape a man or boy, and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy, they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up, feminists, please.
Like if you love God and Jesus.
Guys we should stop making orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad... oh wait... Continue 🙂
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?
You turn it upside down.
