Worst Jokes Ever

Doctor: You need new glasses.

Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.

Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.

What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?

Domi-nose.

Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.

What was the first sport played on the moon?

Capture the flag.

What does lmao mean?

Launch Missiles at orphanage.

Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar, the bartender says...

WAITTTT WHATTT

What's an orphan's least favorite store?

Family Dollar.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.

Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.

What is it you can give at Christmas and still keep? Herpes.

How are Tinder and orphans alike?

You swipe left till you find the one you like.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed receiving medical treatment soon after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit Bob and told him this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb peaking mountains, and cross low valleys."

Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.

What can change color and get beat up?

You.

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?

White vans.

add me in Roblox wholetthedogsoutyou1 lol who let the dogs out you you you you you?

What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.