Worst Jokes Ever
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison.
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
I like dick.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?
"Sum Ting Wong."
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.