Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
Give this post the most likes, please?
I see a worm. Oh, no, it's just your hairline!
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
Panera Bread.
What kind of videos can't orphans watch?
Family-friendly content.
I think I'm colorblind. News came out of purple.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for people.
Q: What do Moses and hookers have in common?
A: They've dealt with a burning bush.
They are hairy.