Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
Why was the chicken in trouble?
For using fowl language!
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
Why was 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
"I work with animals," the man said to his date.
His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"
"I am a butcher," said the man.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.