Worst Jokes Ever

One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!

Mankind is made of 2 words: Mank and ind.

Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”

The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”

What does e equal?

I don’t know, a bunch of random numbers, but e=mc2.

I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.

My boner had better structural support than the Twin Towers.

Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.

I'm back.

What do you call a kid with no home?

A homeless kid.

If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.

What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"

What does the cell ride to work?

A vesicle.

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."

"That was pretty DAD!"

In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.

Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.

I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.

The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

I would too if my name was Braille.

Money is power, and power is sex. Sex is ex, and ex is virgin.