Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Aliana is so fat, she can't fit through a hula hoop.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
Yo mama so fat, she is fat.
I am looking for Mike Roch.
Hey dad, I'm hungry!
Hi hungry, I'm dad. Why did you name me this way, why why why?
I like tortles.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
What is black and white and red all over?
... a newspaper!
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
What? A telephone? Nah, I'm using a telebone.