Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."

A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"

I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."

You see, my son is very into astronomy.

Son: How do stars die?

Dad: Usually overdose, son.

I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.

Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.

Also me: Are you okay?

Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?

Me: Because you have no family.

Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!

शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।

Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.

People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.