Worst Jokes Ever
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?
A. Gallows humor.
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
I like my women how I like my bacon.
Well Dunn!!!
I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.
I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...
Why can’t American people play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it’s between 9/11.
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.