Worst Jokes Ever
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
His left shoulder.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He turned off the Wi-Fi.
What did the porg say to the porg?
Hi Porg.
You're on worst jokes ever. You thought I put up a good joke? HAHAHAH!
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
For his sake, I hope that heaven is wheelchair accessible...
What is the best thing about gay people?
They're gay about being gay even though they're gonna get shot in the USA. Wait, that rhymes!
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
Why did the blind man fall down a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Hey updog!
What's updog?
(Laughter)
Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!
Q: What is the best Disney character?
A: Toe Mater.