Worst Jokes Ever
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
Every moon has a silver lining.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
What do cows like to do?
Cow-culating!
My son.
What is the best thing about 28 year olds? There are 20 of them!
Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
What lives on the forest floor?
Forest Gump.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.