Worst Jokes Ever

My existence.

Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"

Orphan; "Stop calling here!"

What camel has 3 humps?

...A pregnant one.

How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.

He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.

What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

What do you do with a broken bird? You re-parrot!

Q: What is the best Disney character?

A: Toe Mater.

You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.

You're dumb, but that's not what she said.

How did Sally die?

She got shot.

A guy walked into a bar.

A guy walked out of a bar.

What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?

A quack head!

My mom must be a duck then...

My joke is so diam funny, or so damn funny.

If you spell "swim" backwards you get "miws."

Where is my dad?

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

Your Fortnite win rate.

What is a cow's favorite class in school?

Moosic.

You're the sriracha to my hoisin sauce.

And together, we are pho-ever.