Worst Jokes Ever
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
Beans, beans, beans. Say what? Say beans, beans, beans.
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
At work: Hey guys, I'm gonna Arnold clock out now.
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
I wish everyone spoke to each other the way God did.
The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Are you my mommy?
Love? Is impossible.
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
What is you main food?
Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.
Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.
Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Where did the mouse go?
To the mouse-um!
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”