Worst Jokes Ever
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
What's the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?
They can both flash.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
What is mad cow disease?
There's gonna be 8 planets right after I destroy Uranus.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.
That’s the punch line.
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
People in wheelchairs should really stand up for themselves!
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.