Worst Jokes Ever
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
Build a man a fire, he will be warm for a day. Give him some Tfox merch, and he will be on fire.
Tiresome is the quantification of tire.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
Booooooooooooo!
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
I went outside to catch some dog, but I mist.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!