Worst Jokes Ever

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

Your mamma is so fat that even a North Korean missile would have competition.

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."

(Pause)

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."

"Jeff who?"

"Bezos."

Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?

Because they don't have a family to go with.

They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.

Prostitutes remind me of chewese.

Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.

If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?

Yeah.

Why?

Because I got too obsessed with hares.

The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.

So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"

Get it? "Horse-ing."

Cooper, your mum gay, lol.

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?

So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.

Why did the Russian cross the road?

To get to the other side.

What's the name for a short legged tramp?

A low-down bum.

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?

He had no body to go with.

Davin is a pedo.