Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a fetus and a jar of pickles?
The pickles aren’t as tasty in a jar.
What’s better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Where do fruits go on vacation?
"Pear-is!"
What did the egg say to the tuna?
Come back, old members!
Did you know that most women are left-handed?
That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
Yo mama is so fat we need to use yo papa!
LYNXXXXXXX!
I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Roger.
(Roger who?)
Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!
Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.
What’s the worst part about a dead prostitute?
You end up doing all the work.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
Wait, that's me.