Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What’s the difference between a priest and McDonald’s?
A: Nothing! They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
Guess what?
Good guess.
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?
Me.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
My life, lmao.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
I woke up one night to a strange noise, and when I went to investigate what it was, I found out that it was coming from my parents' room.
I looked inside and counted, ok one, two, three finger men and my mom, so nothing out of the ordinary, so then I checked my sister's room, and I counted 4 other women in the room, but then I realized that the sound was coming from right in front of me. It was my dad giving me a BJ the whole time.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."