Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
When you realize the shuttle blew up.
Then you realize you're on the shuttle.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Down syndrome and brownies.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!