Worst Jokes Ever
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
Why did Stephen Hawking go on to Britain's Got Talent?
To sing.
Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
What's 12 inches long and begins with a p?
A shit.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
Water?
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*