Worst Jokes Ever
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.