Worst Jokes Ever
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
Why did the chicken cross the road to KFC?
He wanted to see a chicken strip.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
What do you call a Mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.
-E-
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.