Worst Jokes Ever
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
Someone dies.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.
Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”
Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
You really put the R in special.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.