Worst Jokes Ever

I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.

I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.

My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.

What is Saturn's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.

How ironic is this?! I was playing Jenga before the first plane hit the Twin Towers.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To slide into your mom's bed.

What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.

Where can you find the most dads?

Milk Island.

Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.

Your hairline's exactly like your nose; it's always offside.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!