Worst Jokes Ever
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"
New groupchat??
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.