Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
Yo mama's so poor, I knocked on the front door of her house and realized I was already outside in her backyard!
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
How to give a good hand job?
Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.
None of you ever touch my penis.
Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.
The earth is not round.
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My grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.
I don't know why Trump has orange skin but has white around his eyes. So does that mean he is some fucking dog?
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
Tushar’s Fortnite skills.
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
One night I was sitting on my bed in my room, minding my own business. It was pretty late, around 10 PM. The glow of my laptop screen was the only light in the room. I heard a noise coming from behind me. It sounded like the door was opening, but there was no one else in the house.
I turned around and found Mr. Incredible standing in my doorway, a stern look on his face. He walked over to me, slowly and dramatically. Then he leaned over and pointed his finger at my face, only about two inches away now. I was frozen with my back against the wall. Then, Mr. Incredible said something I would never forget: "Stop pirating video games."
Ever since that day, I have never gone on a pirating website and have paid legally for my video games. True story.
Stephen Hawking lost Wi-Fi connection.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.