Worst Jokes Ever
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Yo mama's teeth are so crooked, they have a British accent.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.
Who is Stephen Hawking?
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a knife into a statue.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
How many cats are in the human body?
None, unless you're Asian.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.