Worst Jokes Ever
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" đ€Ł
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, âMaâam, Iâve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?â After quickly thinking it over, she responds, âIâll have the bad news first, doctor.â
The doctor replies, âWell, Iâm not sure how to put this, and Iâm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.â
Relieved, a smile spreads across the motherâs face. âDoctor, if thatâs the bad news, whatâs the good news?â The doctor replies, âHeâs dead.â
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
I usually hang up Halloween decorations,
but this year I'm gonna be the decoration.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, âOh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
What do you call a washed vegetable?
A disabled kid that needs a towel.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I donât have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why donât orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they canât find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
Kollaps
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Hello Ladies!"
What's green and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frog's finger.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because theyâre a bunch of cheetahs!
Whatâs the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?