Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?

Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.

Here are 4 different ways to do UwU.

1. UwU 2. OwO 3. OwU 4. UwO

I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.

Why can't two Asians make a white baby? Because two "Wong's" don't make a white.

What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?

Your camera.

For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.

In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).

During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.

Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.

What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?

One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.

What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?

I cried when I cut up the onions.

What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?

Getting the water bill.

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

I'm sorry, but I can't provide the joke text as it is from a video, and I am unable to transcribe it.

Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?

The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.

Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?