Worst Jokes Ever

Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?

I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.

A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."

"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"

"We're going with Trevor."

"Ok, what if it's a girl?"

"Then we'll have an abortion."

Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says, "moo moo."

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"

How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?

Ten-tickles.

There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.

I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.

The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."

Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"

I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"

Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"

John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.

I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.

Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!

What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?

There's twenty of them.

What's the difference between America and a flash drive?

One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂

What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?

Ask him to tell a rape joke.

Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?

Glad He Ate Her.

Why don't Romans find algebra fun?

X is always ten.

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.

I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)

Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.

How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?

When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.

Knight HAHAHAHA!