Worst Jokes Ever
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
You're gay.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
1 + 1 = window.