Worst Jokes Ever
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Hitler walked so Kim can run.
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Babe, it's over.
After all I've done for you? Wow! I cheated on you with your sister anyway.
I meant the movie...
dsfjlkfsdajlk;adsf;lkjfsdlkjfdslkjfdsjlkfsdk;ljsgd;klsdafl;kjsadg.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
Swallow cum, not gum.
Wife is texting husband:
"Honey, if I give you 300 dollars, will you stop being blind?"
Husband: "seilghsielguG"
Wife: "Seriously, David?"
Husband: "fuweyadb"
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
because skeletons aren't alive and can't move, so it's impossible for him to cross the road.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
A lady sees a doctor about a tummy ache. After her check up, the Doctor said, “Looks like you’ll be needing nappies in about 9 months time.”
The lady asks, “Am I pregnant?” To which the Doctor replied, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”