Worst Jokes Ever
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
What's white as snow within 15-25 mins after death and then black and blue and red all over?
A corpse, of course!
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? One alive at the bottom.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?
Hey, What do you want? We broke up like 5 days ago, leave me alone. Ok, first wanna do some things? What kind of things? Illegal things. Like what? Knock you off and hide your body. 🤡🤡🗡
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.