Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
Always practice safe sex: paint an X on the sheep that kick.
When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
You're gay.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
1 + 1 = window.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
My dick.
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?