Worst Jokes Ever
I used to hate facial hair,
but then it grew on me.
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
It squirted in my eye, God dammit!
If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
What do you call a PEIS?
Why do bees stay in the hive during winter?
... S'warm!
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.