Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Orphan
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
I would have loved to ride the Titanic at least once ;)
iykyk
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.