Worst Jokes Ever
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."
My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.
6, 7, and 8 are all scared of 10, but 10 is also scared. Why was 10 scared?
Because it was stuck between 9 and 11.
What do you call an adopted orphan?
Wanted.
If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!
What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝