Worst Jokes Ever
Isn't eating a clock time-consuming?
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
Have you ever seen a baby unicorn? No! Because unicorns are gay rainbows in equine form.
This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.
His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.
The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.