Worst Jokes Ever
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tailβit'll be delighted!
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Does a midget count as an orphan?
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Why can't you be gay and in a wheelchair?
Because you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.