Worst Jokes Ever
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
I told a chemistry joke once.
There was no reaction.
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?
Octopus, more like octopussy.
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
Nickelback.
Why don't blind people like bungee jumping?
Because it scares the fuck out of dogs!