Worst Jokes Ever
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!