Worst Jokes Ever
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
Stormtrooper: What should I do with this guide for my test?
Palpatine: Review it.
Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?
Palpatine: Grew it.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh f-i-s-h (and the eye).
4chan
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.