Worst Jokes Ever
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
A lesbian couple and a gay couple are going to San Francisco. Who made it first?
The lesbian couple got there lickety-split.
The gay couple was still packing their shit.
I suggested to my girlfriend that she would look sexier with her hair back.
Apparently, that’s insensitive to someone during chemo.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
What do you get when you cross cow DNA with human DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
The fact I couldn't hear the announcements at my school because the boys in my advisory are clapping with no hands should be a joke just in itself. They were making sexual faces as well, oh, and don't forget the moaning they do.
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Why don’t Indians play soccer?
Because every time they’re at the corner, they build a store.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and on their land.
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.