Worst Jokes Ever

What kind of shit does a ghost take every time? A spooky dookie!

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

Why do orphans have criminal records?

So they can be wanted.

Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?

A: A jolly rancher.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

My mom told me to get a job, so I did.

One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.

My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.

What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?

Standing ovation!

Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.

You learn something new every day.

Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"

Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.

Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?

Because they are Sith-ters.

"I only eat food on the right of my plate."

"Are you good at eating?"

"I'm alright at eating."

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.